


U O Me

by fabricdragon



Series: Fake Relationship Shuffle [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: AO3 FB Challenge, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2019-02-09
Packaged: 2019-06-04 19:56:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15154490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fabricdragon/pseuds/fabricdragon
Summary: Jim needs an escort (and probably wants to yank the Iceman's chain) and Mycroft has a debt to pay (and a bit of blackmail but why mention it)





	1. Blackmail is such an awful word, Mycroft

Mycroft Holmes stared in disbelief at the man.  “You want me… to be your escort… to a criminal meeting? I knew you were unbalanced but–”

“You OWE me, Mycroft.” Jim Moriarty smiled sharply at him. “Or do you want me to tell your baby brother  that I’m alive  and just HOW much of this you orchestrated?”

“I could have you shot.” Mycroft narrowed his eyes at the man.

“Bluffing!” Jim said cheerfully, “Not only do I have better snipers than you Iceman, but I have contingencies in place–same as always.” He smirked, “I need an expensive looking escort–last time I had some pretty thing in not much clothing on my arm, I thought this time I’d go old school– AND you can deduce them for me.”

“Once again, you must be out of–”

“Or I can always ask Sherlock… given that John ran away I think he’d be DELIGHTED that I was back, don’t you?”

Mycroft closed his eyes and resigned himself, “Just tell me how long I need to take off, and what to pack.”

“That’s the spirit!”  Jim smiled, “I’ll text you the details. Ta!”

… and that’s how Mycroft Holmes–or ‘Michael’ as being less uncommon a name–ended up boarding a private jet to be Jim Moriarty’s boyfriend for a week.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mycroft, meet Tiger

Jim ignored him for the most part on the plane trip leaving him time to settle his nerves and observe.  The SAS trained bodyguard was clearly personally protective–not just professionally–and looked as though he would cheerfully murder someone at the snap of Jim’s fingers. Jim himself seemed perfectly accustomed to the man pacing about and vanishing into the cockpit, only speaking up when he started looming a bit close to Mycroft.

“Tiger,” Jim said with stifled amusement, “Stop trying to intimidate my date.”

“Was he?” Mycroft raised an eyebrow and then looked back at his book and lied smoothly, “I thought he just didn’t like to fly.”

The man looked deeply offended and slunk over to a chair.  Jim laughed, “Tiger, he’s yanking your chain and you deserve it.  He was searched before he got on board: all he has is his sword umbrella and he’s hardly going to stab me mid-flight.”

“With all due respect, Sir, you hardly need him.” 

The voice was unexpected. Mycroft sat up slightly and processed: Oxford educated, the time in the military had been obvious, but…

Jim waved a hand, “Yes, my bodyguard ranks higher in the peerage than you do Mikey, at least officially.”

Mycroft looked him over again, “Why would someone of his social class and education, not to mention SAS training, work for you?”

“I’m RIGHT here, you know.” Tiger grumbled and muttered, “Great, two of them.”

Jim just smirked, “His reasons are his own, Mikey.”

“Well why don’t you have HIM as your escort?  He clearly isn’t going to embarrass you at a social function.”

Jim snapped his fingers and Tiger immediately looked over, “Tiger? Explain to Mycroft why you can’t be my escort.”

“Everyone knows I’m your bodyguard, first of all, and secondly guards are not permitted in some of the closed meetings, but arm candy and business partners are.”

Jim smiled lazily at Mycroft, “You MIGHT be a business partner, but you don’t look like one of my usual bodyguards–or even my less usual ones.”

Mycroft chewed on this for a while, “from the sound of it there might be some risk of my being recognized…”

“Oh probably,” Jim said idly as he continued  studying his phone, “but they can’t be certain it is actually you: I may have gotten a lookalike after all.”

“Bloody wonderful.” Mycroft grumbled.

 


End file.
